Its been more than a year now since my girlfriend and I decided to become flexitarians. That means for us, we’re vegetarians 99% of the time. During those few times that we’re eating with our parents, or at any other social situation where there would be no vegetarian fare served, and its a choice between eating that food or going hungry, we would choose to not go hungry.

Vegetarian Cheesesteak
Vegetarian Cheesesteak that I made for breakfast - Yummy!

Like most Singaporeans, the #1 “social activity” for my girlfriend and I is to dine out, and we had no intentions to stop that when we made the switch.

When I first made the switch, I always wondered how long I can keep this up - will I give up because of my craving for good food? Surprisingly, i’ve not given up my love for good food one bit, and i’ve even discovered a few more delightful places to eat in Singapore that I might not have found otherwise. There seems to be a lot more vegetarian dining outlets springing up all over the island over the past few years, so I guess i’m part of a growing trend to switch to some form of vegetarianism.

One nice side effect of making this switch is the interaction with the staff of the places I frequent. In the places that I frequent, I am almost always greeted with a *BIG* smile and sometimes even some small talk when they aren’t busy. This is almost unheard of in busy-busy Singapore, where most customers aren’t even recognised.

In the year since i’ve switched, i’ve gone from having zero stall owners or waitresses knowing me in my whole life, to five - who know me and my girlfriend, and sometimes even know in advance what we’re ordering. Its an awesome feeling. It wasn’t all sunshine-and-flowers though, it took quite awhile to get to that level of understanding.

Ordering vegetarian Chinese food in Singapore is an adventure.

During the first week, I was jittery and unsure of how to order. Will they even sell me food? I’d better proceed with caution and try to hide my vegetarianism, and pose as a super-finicky eater instead. Here’s what I went through at a Chinese restuarant 5 mins away from where I live.

“Hello, one plate of hor fun please, but can you take out the meat?”, I say, trying to mask my nervousness. (Hor Fun is a dish made with flat noodles)

“Okay.”, the waitress says.

“Hey, that was easy.”, I think to myself, relieved. That wasn’t that bad!

What happens then is that instead of having pork in the dish, they’ll put in some extra chicken instead. Apparently, the word “meat”, especially when spoken in Chinese, means only red meat for many in the food business here. Let’s try this again…

“Hello, one plate of fried noodles, no meat, no chicken.”, I say, more confident this time.

“Uh…. okay.”, the waitress replies, giving me funny look.

And then I get presented with fried noodles - with lots of seafood like shrimp and squid instead. Okay okay, more detail when ordering!

In rapid fire Mandarin Chinese, “One plate fried noodles, no meat, no chicken, no shrimp, no squid!”

“HUH?! Then what do you want in those noodles?”

“Uh… can you put in some extra vegetables instead?”

“Okaaaay…”, the waitress replies, trying to not sound annoyed.

This is clearly not working. Not only does it take too long to order, in some places we get presented with a plate of food that is basically either rice or noodles, with some soy sauce and garnishing. Its also really annoying for the staff to deal with so many things in the head. Maybe I should just ‘fess up?

“Can I have fried noodles please? I’m vegetarian…”. I’m trying to not look like a nervous schoolboy caught by the discipline master.

“We don’t sell vegetarian fried noodles.”, she replies.

“Oh, actually, just take out the pork and the shrimp and it’ll be fine.”

“Hmmm. Is garlic and spring onion okay?”

“Yeah, that’s fine…?”, I say, confused.

“Aiya, you should just have told me that you’re vegetarian long ago! Where are you sitting?”

Apparently, for many food businesses in Singapore, being vegetarian means being a “Chinese Buddhist Vegetarian”, which means (as far as I can tell) being vegan (no eggs or diary products), with the additional restriction of having no garlic, ginger or spring onion in your food. No wonder being vegetarian has such a bad rep here! I’m a *huge* fan of garlic, and I find Chinese cooking without garlic tasteless, and I think i’m not alone thinking like that.

After weeks of trial and error, i’ve now got my routine down pat. Minimal grief, painless and efficient.

Presenting - Version 1.0 of the FunkeeMonk Standard Operating Procedure (SOP) for Ordering Vegetarian Chinese Food in Singapore.

1. Smile.
2. Say, “Hello! (food item) please. I’m vegetarian, but eggs, garlic and spring onions are okay.”
3. Listen for any clarifications from staff, answer appropriately.
4. Thank the person taking the order.
5. Maintain sunny disposition and when in doubt - smile.

What really surprised me is how friendly everyone has been to my girlfriend and I when we’re dining out. When I visit my regular places alone, i’ll sometimes get asked, “Hey, you’re here again, is your girlfriend busy today?” or other pieces of smalltalk. Before we made the switch, these same places never recognised me or my girlfriend, and now we’re treated like good friends coming over for a meal.

I believe that this is happening partly because our dining habits make us easier to remember, but I think its mainly because we interacted with the wonderful people selling me food beyond what their other customers usually do.

Everyone wants a little bit of good social interaction and appreciation for their work, and by smiling, and showing that you’re enjoying your food, and just plain not being nasty, the people that are selling or serving you food would appreciate it, and their day may be brighter just because of that.

Its easy to think of the people selling us food as like a voice-operated vending machiine, just quickly say what you want, give them the money, and try not to scowl too hard at them for taking so long to hand over the food to you. I see this around me everyday and I must have done this plenty of times in the past too. Is it any wonder that we end up being treated like another cog in the machine and treated impersonally by the people serving us food?

Take a little bit of time today to talk to the person serving you food, and smile! Everyone’s day will be brighter for it and it won’t even cost you a cent. Give it a try, and share your dining experiences too!